Sakura Wars: The New York Combat Revue and a Merc
by Reality and Fiction
Summary: Mr. Sunnyside is in need of some help for the Star Division. Nick Fury needs to get rid of Deadpool. As Deadpool is forced on Shinjiro's team, will Shinjiro be able to show Deadpool his Samurai Spirit? ... no. Will Deadpool drive everyone insane? ... yep.
1. Chapter 1 Setting the Stage

**Note****: **As most people know, Deadpool has two voices in his head. When Deadpool speaks, _it shall be italicized._ When his 1st voice in his head speaks, **it will be in bold.** When his 2nd voice in his head speaks, it will be underlined. When anyone else talks in their head, _it will be italicized._

**Second Note****:** This takes place 5 months after the OVA of this Sakura Wars (yes there was an OVA … look it up) so Ratchet Altair is not in this. If you're wondering who Shinjiro is going out with … don't. (Once again watch the OVA; it will answer all of your questions.)

**Disclaimer**: I should also say that I do not own anything from Marvel, anything related to Sakura Wars, or any reference of pop culture Deadpool will make without my permission…. Then again if I did own any of those, I wouldn't be writing fan fics now would I? Ok, let's get started.

**Chapter 1: SETTING THE STAGE**

New York, 1929. It has been five months since Tutankhamen was defeated by the New York Combat Revue. The city still shows the scars of the … "battle" … (had to get that out my system, sorry) but has recovered substantially thanks to the helping hands of the people of New York City. Industry has once again started up in the city that never sleeps and life for the New Yorkers has returned to normal. _Well, as normal as normal gets with monsters killing people every day._ Yes well …Deadpool? Get out of here! _Oh, come on! I'm bored back here, so let me help. _No! Go back, wait till your lines come up! _… fine, damnit …_ Sorry about that folks, anyways, as the citizens returned to their daily lives the Little Lip Theater was as busy as always preparing for their next play, while remaining vigilante for anything that threatens the safety of New York.

"Well Captain Taiga, you have, without a doubt, proven yourself as one of the finest leaders I have ever seen. You may even surpass Ratchet one of these days!" Said Michael Sunnyside, commander of the New York Combat Revue. Shinjiro then stood strait and saluted. "Thank you very much Mr. Sunnyside! I will continue to do my best, sir!"

Sunnyside then smiled and said "That's good to hear Mr. Taiga. After all, you are the glue that keeps this team together!" Shinjiro smiled when he heard this. It wasn't every day that Sunnyside gave him compliments, and was glad that he wasn't teasing him. "Now, Mr. Taiga, I have put this off for a couple of months, but I believe it's time that we talked about your last major defense of New York." Shinjiro tensed up. Sunnyside was never usually this serious about this kind of thing. Had he messed up somewhere? Had he done something wrong? "However, I believe everyone should be in here when I say this so allow me to let them in."

Sunnyside then got up, with one of his million dollar smiles, and headed toward the door. When he opened the door, the rest of the Star Division fell through the door, as they struggled to get themselves untangled from the dog pile, Subaru simply walked around them, simply ignoring their existence. "Oh … Uh … H-hello Mr. Sunnyside …" started Gemini with her Texan accent. "W-we were just walking around and we just started to lean on your door and …" said Cherion trying to cover up their misdeed. "If Subaru recalls, you were all looking for Shinjiro, and then start to eavesdrop on their conversation." Stated Subaru. "W-well no one asked you Subaru!" shouted Cherion "Please, stop fighting you two." Said Diana trying to calm Cherion down. "Yeay! Fight! Fight! Fight!" shouted Rosita adding to the confusion.

"Alright alright, that's enough. Please settle down so we may discus something important." Sunnyside said sternly. Everyone instantly quieted down. "Now I believe you all did a wonderful job in stopping Tutankhamen from taking over New York, but I believe that he was too close in succeeding." "Don't worry Mr. Sunnyside!" announced Shinjiro, "I promise that we will train hard so that we will get stronger. We won't let anyone succeed in destroying New York!" The Star Division smiled proudly at their leader determination, even Subaru let out a smirk behind her fan. "I have no doubt that you will do that Mr. Taiga, however, I still believe you will need some back up from now on. So I am going to add a new member to the Star Division." Announced Sunnyside. "A new member?" Shouted everyone in unison. No one had expected that Sunnyside would even consider a new member in the Star Division. "Now this person was highly recommended by an old friend of mine. He will be here in a few hours so …"

"Wait … did you say 'He' uncle?" asked Diana. There were few people who had the Pneuma in the world, and even fewer were men. Pneuma was the thing that powered the Star Division's steam power robots so this was a huge deal. "Yes, now as I was saying, he was recommended by an old friend of mine. According to him, the recruit is highly skilled, with a substantial amount of Pneuma. When he was recommended, I had to agree, but …"

"What's the matter Sunnyside?" asked Cherion, "This guy isn't a trouble maker or anything is he?" "Well … that's the thing, my friend was acting really anxious when talking to me, almost as if he was trying to get rid of him …" "Subaru believes that, maybe we should not consider him then." Stated Subaru, "If he could hurt the team, then we should just stay as we are." "Don't say that Subaru!" yelled Gemini, "We don't now even know this cowpoke, we can't just say he's a bad guy, just because his friend is nervous." "Yeah, and if he is bad, I'll just shoot him up!" added Rosita. "By the way Mr. Sunnyside," started Shinjiro, "who is this old friend of yours?" Sunnyside just smiled and said, "He's just an old friend, so let's leave it at that."

XXXXXXX

"Soooooooooo, why did Nick Fury call us again?" Deadpool asked himself as he "**attempts to get rid of us …"** _"Don't be stupid,"_ Deadpool said out loud, reassuring himself, _"Fury said he had a job that only we could do. He said it involved big bucks, so of course we're going to …" _**"Now you see, that's the thing I don't get, he asked us that right after we ruined one of their missions." **_"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad …" _"But, we shot Phobes in the arm." _"He's old enough to take a bullet and you know it!" _"He's 13 years old!" _"Oh … we'll … we're still getting paid a lot of money for this." _**"Now that's the other thing I don't get, aren't we rich?" **As Deadpool thought this, he found the entrance to the base, as he entered, everyone gives him the evil eye, especially Phobes. He enters Nick Fury's office, where they finally have a chance to talk. "Hello Deadpool," Nick Fury said in his aggressive tone "I didn't think that you'd actually show up." _"Well what can I say, I always keep my promises."_ **"No you don't." **_"What? Yes I do!" _No … No you don't." _"SHUT UP! No one asked you!"_ "Deadpool! Who the hell are you talking to?" Fury interrupted. Deadpool looked then looked to Fury and said, "_Uh … no one … so what's this job you need me for Fury?"_

Nick Fury adjusted his sitting and said, "Here's the deal Deadpool, I want you gone." Deadpool went into a momentary period of shock. _" … Wow … you really hate me don't ya Nick." _"Yes, I do." Responded Nick Fury, "It's not just me either Deadpool. According to numerous reports from Thor, Rogers, and Stark, you have, in one month, destroyed 30 casinos, blown up 20 buildings, had 15 ice cream shops set on fire, and shot over 300 heroes, including Thor, Rogers, Stark, and Phobes." **"I warned you didn't I?" **"In my defense, I honestly thought the ice cream shops were Hydra bases." **"But they weren't, remember? You got the instructions wrong." **Deadpool then hit his head to shut his two voices up_. "Alright then Nick, you want me gone, I'm gone! I'll lay low in my safe house and waste away as I eat my cheesy puff only diet and …"_ "No Deadpool," interrupted Fury, "if you're going to go away, I'm at least going to put you to use. An old friend of mine asked for some help, he'll probably never talk to me after this, but you're worth it." _"You flatter me Mr. Fury … just out of curiosity … have I ever met this guy?" _"Why would you ask that?"** "To make sure I've never shot him before."**

"He's from an alternate universe, so I wouldn't say so." Replied Fury. _"Oh, well that makes ALTERNATE UNIVERSE? Wow, when you want me gone, you want me gone …"_ "Deadpool," Fury stated, "for once in your life will you shut up? Now as I was saying, he says he needs some help defending his version of New York. He also said something about requiring 'Pneuma' but I have no idea what that is, so I'm guessing you have a lot of it." Deadpool stroked his chin, "_So let me get this straight … this friend of yours, who happens to be from an alternate universe, asked you for some back up in his version of New York. When he asked you this, you saw it as the perfect chance to get rid of me, thus screwing your friend over. Am I right?"_

Nick Fury sighed and said, "Only half right. He's the commander of a secret military organization who, like I said before, defends New York from the super natural. I now you can help them, but I also know things will be worse for them before they get better. This may be exile for you, but you have a chance to turn it into redemption. If you help them out enough, I will consider to bring you back understand?" "I say we stab him in his good eye right now." **"Didn't you hear anything he just said? This is our chance to gain the respect from everyone else! We can become the heroes we always wanted to be!" **_"Alright Nick, I'll go willingly, just let me get my xbox and games, and I'll go through the portal or whatever … "_

"Yeah … about that Deadpool," Fury interrupted, the alternate Earth is currently in the year 1929." "My god … no videogames …" **"Forget what I said before, stab his eye of deceit."**_ "That is unfortunate sir; I shall be taking my leave then. Please don't try to stop me sir, I would hate to shoot the kids … again."_ "Deadpool, you should know that the only way to get out of here alive is through that portal." Deadpool then turns his back on Fury and says, _"Oh yeah? Well whose gonna stop …" _Deadpool then sees that behind him was standing Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America (Bucky) ready for him to make a break for it. _"... Ok Nick, but I'm going to need a new set of cloths, my katana, enough guns to fill a big duffle bag, and 20 bags of cheesy puffs."_ He turned around to see that Nick Fury had everything he asked for already on the table. "How did he do that?"** "Uh … He's Nick Fury … He's Stan Lee's Chuck Norris."**

XXXXXXX

Cherry Crocker and Anri Yoshio were sitting down on a bench near the pier, waiting for the arrival of Sunnyside's new recruit. Anri yawned and said, "Why are we the one's waiting for this guy?" "Because Anri," replied Cherry, "everyone else needs their sleep for the show, and Kayama is on a job collecting information right now, so that just leaves you and me." "But at 4 A.M.?" complained Anri. "Why is his boat coming in so early anyways?" "Not sure," said Cherry, "Knowing Sunnyside, he's probably being smuggled into the country, or something." Anri then started going from a fit, to a panic, "I don't know about this Cherry, what if this guy is some kind of weirdo?" Cherry then smiled. "Isn't that what you said about Shin when you first saw him?" Anri started getting red when she remembered the event. When she first met Shin in his room, he was, in her opinion, just another scary guy, but over time, she started to have a crush him (her and everyone else). "What's the matter Anri? Are you thinking about Shin?" Cherry teased. "W-w-what? N-no! Why would I think about him?" Anri yelled as she started to hit Cherry.

As they started to laugh, Cherry got a call from her cameraton . "Hello?" Sunnyside said from the cameraton, "Cherry, are you there?" Cherry picked up the cameraton and said, "Yes Mr. Sunnyside. The recruit still hasn't arrived yet, and we are awaiting his ship." There was a brief pause in the conversation. "Ship?" questioned Sunnyside, "Who said anything about a ship?" Cherry and Anri gave each other a confused look. If he wasn't coming by boat, why where they at the pier? "I received a call from my friend; he should be there any second now. Oh, by the way … keep what you two are about to see to yourselves. Sunnyside out.

As Sunnyside hung up, a giant purple portal appeared out of nowhere. The two members of the Rainbow Division stood in awe as it pulsed waves of energy at them. As the seconds grew longer, they started to hear a faint sound. "W-w-what's that sound?" whimpered Anri. The sound started to grow louder as time went on. "It …" Cherry started, "it sounds like someone yelling …" The yelling got louder and louder and a figure started to appear. "W-what is that thing?" exclaimed Anri. The figure then launched out the portal and landed right on his face. Moments later, a large duffle bag slammed right behind him, with the portal closing right after. As it got up they saw that it was wearing a trench coat, and jeans. The creature had a full red head, pure white eyes, large black ovals around his eyes, and no mouth.

He then groaned and said _"Great, I'm an 'it'? First Thor hits me in the portal with his giant, stupid hammer, and now the stupid narrator of this stupid fan fic is calling me an 'it'!"_ Hey! Don't call me stupid! _"Well to bad! You are stupid! You, Thor, and Nick Fury!" _**"Dude, you should really stop arguing with the narrator …" **_"Shut Up! I can argue with whoever I want!"_ "No, he's right, we should really stop. The narrator can do … things …" _"Tch, like what?" _Oh, just something like this.

"W-who is he talking to Cherry …?" asked Anri. "I-I don't know, but you were right, he is a weirdo …" _"Curse you for making me look bad in front of two girls who I can't see without them stepping into the light of the convenient lamppost I'm under." _scorned Deadpool under his breath. "Um … are … are you the recruit that Mr. Sunnyside is expecting …" asked Cherry. _"That depends, is he this commander of the New York Combat …uh …" _**"Revue." **_"… Menu?"_ Cherry sighed a breath of relief, "Close enough." Cherry, with Anri hiding right behind her in fear, stepped into the light, which, for some reason made the man's eyes widden. "I'm Cherry Crocker, one of the members of the Rainbow Division." _"Huh ... well Cherry Crocker, I have only one thing to ask you." _Cherry was a little hesitant at first to agree. "Oh ... well ... alright, I guess it couldn't hurt ..."

Deadpool then ran toward Cherry and grabbed her hands. _"Will you marry me?"_ Cherry and Anri's faces grew red rappidly as they let out a simultanious "WHAT?" _"That's right, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were the one!" _Deadpool exlaimed as he had a hilucination of Cherry in a wedding dress. _"Your beautiful hair, your slender curves, those lovley eyes, and those loucious lips! It was a mach made in heaven, you and me! What do you say, my sweet Cherry? Will you be Mrs. Cherry Wilson?" _Cherry was so stunned at what just happened, some random "person" she just met proposed to her without any warning what so ever. Sure shed been looking for a man, but this was just too much.

"N-no! absolutly not!" yelled Anri in protest. Both Deadpool and Cherry focused thier attention on Anri, who was as red as a beat. "You can't just propose to someone you just met!" she yelled pointing at Deadpool. "We don't even know your name y-you weirdo!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOH. Burn big time!" **"I second that, figuring she used a word that descibes us perfectly."**_ "Huh,"_ started Deadpool as his focus turned to Anri, _"and just who would you be girly?" _Anri gulped while looking at the menacing weirdo. "A-A-Anri Yoshio, the second member of the Rain ..." _"Alright, alright, I don't need to hear your life's story. Anyways Anri ... whydid you call me weirdo?" _"B-because you are one!" _"Oh nononononononono, Anri, I'm even acting weird ... yet. I hope you're ready girly, because I'm going to turn your world upside down." _Deadpool then grabbed Anri's sholders, and started to shake her back and forth. _"Well? Are you ready Anri? ARE YOU?" _In a panic, Anri screamed and slapped Deadpool strait across the face, after which she ran back to Cherry and hid behind her.** "Awww, you scared her off..."** "Thank you, thank you, I'll be hear all weak."

The cameraton then sounded for an incoming call. "Cherry?" said Sunnyside on the phone, "is the recruit here yet?" Cherry paused and answered "Um ... yes sir ..." "Excellent, please bring him immediatly, its time he meet his new team mates."

XXXXXX

Shinjiro yanned as he sat in Sunnyside's office. He, and the rest of the Star Division, had been called to greet their new member at 4:30 A.M., but that was an hour ago. Gemini had dozed off right beside Shinjiro, Rosita was up and about touching everything in Mr. Sunnyside's office, Diana had taken it upon herself to make coffee for everyone, Cherion was paceing impaciently across the room, and Subaru was sitting on the couch opposite of Shinjiro, showing no emotion at all. They all had a hard day from practicing their play, _The Phantom of the Opera_,they were looking foward to a full eight hours of sleep, but Mr. Sunnyside had woken them up, now they're felling the strain.

"Alright what the hell Sunnyside?" yelled Cherion waking Gemini up. "You called us here to meet the new recruit one hour ago! We shoud be sleeping for today's preformance, not waiting for a late recruit!" "Subaru agrees," stated Subaru (obviously), "There is no reason that we can not greet him during the day, it makes much less sense to waste or time." "Now, now," said Sunnyside saids trying to calm them down, "I'm sure they'll be here soon." "Awwwwww, but we're tired ..." complained Rosita, finally running out of energy. "Yeah Mr. Sunnyside," started Gemini rubbing her eyes, "were all mighty tired, can't we just hit the hay already?" Diana then sighed and said "They're right uncle. It's ubhealthy to wake up yhis early, we should get to sleep soon."

looked around the room .. he was losing. It was time he played his trump card, the one he could only play every three months to get the girls to do whatever he wants (anymore and Subaru would have caught on) "Well don't look at me," Sunny side started, "It was Shinster's idea!" "Huh?" said Shinjiro as he snapped out of his drowzyness. All eyes were on Shinjiro now as Sunnyside sit backed and watched the , highly confused, tried to mak sense of the situation in his head. "W-well ..." started Gemini "if Shiny thinks its a good idea ... then so do I." she finished blushing. "Yeay! Go Shins Go!" yelled Rosita, finding renewed energy. "Well, I suuppose its ok if you think so Shin ..." said Diana, also blushing. " I guess I can wait a little longer..." said Cherion trying to hide her red face. "Hm. Well although I do not agree, Subaru will respect our leader's decision." Said Subaru hiding her face behind her fan.

Shinjiro sighed and thought, "_Sometimes I think he just keeps me here as a scapegoat._" "Well know, I believe everyone's a bit more awake know, but hows that coffee coming along Diana?" said Mr. Sunntside cheerfully. "I'm sorry uncle, but we're all out, I need to go down to the lobby to get some more." Diana said waliking toward the door. "All right," started Sunnyside, "hurry ba ..." before he could finish his sentance, the door slammed open, hitting Diana in the face and knocking her to the ground. Everyone was in shock, and ran to help up Diana. "Diana! Are you ok?" Shinjiro asked Diana, trying to help her up. _"Hey! Didn't anyone hear ... ooooh what happened?" _"Whaddya mean what happened?" yelled Cherion, "the door just flew open and hit ..." Everyone suddenly realized that someone had entered the room. They slowly looked behined themselves to see a total stranger, someone with full red head, pure white eyes, large black ovals around his eyes, and no mouth.


	2. Chapter 2 Meet and Greet

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Deadpool, Sakura Wars, or any pop culture reference Deadpool will make.

**Note**: I'm sorry this took so long; I'm a very slow typist. On a quick note, if you did watch the OVA … you now know the suffering I went through. If you liked the OVA … Really? You actually liked that crap? Look, I loved the game, but the OVA was complete bull$#%*. Ok … Round 2 … Fight!

**Chapter 2**: Meet and Greet

_" New York Combat Revue!"_ Deadpool yelled as he kicked the door to the office "Your savior has arrived!" It took Deadpool ten seconds of blank staring to realize that these people had completely ignored him. "I don't think they're listening to us." **"Since when does anyone want to?"** _"Hey! Didn't anyone hear ... oooooh what happened?"_ Deadpool asked as he looked over the strangers' shoulders. "Um ... I think we added an extra 'o' from the last chapter." "Whaddya mean what happened?" yelled the black girl. "the door just flew open and hit ..." Everyone one in the huddle instantly looked backed at Deadpool, staring at him like an enigma. After a about ten seconds of awkward staring and silence, the guy in the glasses said, "Um excuse me, but may I ask what you are doing here?" _"The incredibly hot blonde told me to come here."_ "Incredibly … Oh! Do you mean Cherry?" he asked in response. _"Yep, she slapped me right across the face and told me to come here."_ **"And that's after the thirty seconds we were staring at her chest."**

"Ah, so you must be the recruit Nick sent me!" the glasses guy responded. "Well, I am your employer, Michael Sunnyside! It is a pleasure to meet you." Deadpool raised an eyebrow from behind his mask. _"Sunnyside ... your last name is 'Sunnyside'?"_ **"Whatever you do, do NOT, make fun of his name. Do you hear me?" **_"Well ... it's nice to meet you Sunnyside ... ah ... so ..."_ "Must ... resist ... laughing ... losing ..."

As Deadpool struggled with to hold in his laugh, the Star Division was able to help Diana back on her feet. "Are you ok Diana?" Shinjiro asked concerned "I-I'll be alright Shin, thank you for asking, but ... who is my uncle talking to?" There attention turned to the person, who was holding his stomach for some reason. "Subaru believes that he is our new recruit." Subaru deduced. "I don't know", Gemini questioned, "he looks ... a little older than us ..." "In any case, we should introduce ourselves to him." interrupted Shinjiro. "Toooooo late!" yelled Rosita with glee, "Cherion is going to beat him up for hurting Diana!" "Wha ... ?" Shinjiro said trying to make sense of the situation.

Deadpool, after he finally got his laughter under control, was then grabbed by the collar of his jacket by the black chick. "Who the hell do you think you are?" she yelled furiously. "You just barge in here a whole hour late, then you hurt Diana, and you act like you don't even care!" Deadpool raised his eyebrow and said "_Listen lady, I'm sorry about your friend, but you really need to calm down."_ "Shut up!" Cherion shouted, "We've been waiting for you for a while, and you just barge in like you own the place! It's people like you that piss me off the most!" "Wow, a person we don't even know is already incredibly mad at us. Is that a good sign?" **"Not usually, but then again, we need to keep an open mind."**

_"Look,"_ Deadpool said taking her arms off of him, _"I had a good reason to be late."_ "Oh really?" Cherion said skeptically, "Well then, the court will now hear the alibi of the defendant." "Cherion ..." Sunnyside started, "I don't believe this is necessary." _"Well, if you must know ..."_ Deadpool then reached into his duffle bag to pull out a small paper bag. _"I got everyone tacos!"_ "Yeay! FOOOOOD!" Rosita shouted. "WHAT? That's your excuse? Tacos?" _"Does that mean that you don't want your taco?"_ In a fit of rage, Cherion knocked the bag to the ground and stomped on it.

_"!"_ Deadpool and Rosita cried as they watched in pure horror. "W-What has she done! That monster!" **"This murder will not go unanswered for. Blood must be paid for this...this... this tragedy."** "WAAAAAAAAAAAA! Cherion, how could you? You killed my food!" Rosita cried. Cherion then turned to Rosita. "Wha? R-Rosita, calm down I ..." "Shins! She killed my food WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Rosita yelled, crying on his shirt. "Uh , Cherion …" Shinjiro started, "Maybe you should apologize … to both of them …" "Yeah! What you did was wrong Cherion!" agreed Gemini. "He bought food for us and you stomped it. That was very childish of you!" stated Diana. "Subaru agrees. I believed you were much more mature than this."

Cherion started to feel the guilt stab at her from everyone's words. She looked at the recruit kneeling on the floor and felt bad. She then looked at Rosita and saw imagined a kitten crying, which devastated her. She took a deep breath and said, "Look, I'm sorry I smashed the tacos, ok? I know I lost my temper, and it won't happen again alright?" "Really? You promise?" whimpered Rosita. Cherion leaned down to Rosita, "Yeah, I …" _"That's not good enough!" _Deadpool cried as he put a gun to Cherion's head. The team's expression turned to horror as the man quickly turned the small matter into a hostage situation.

Deadpool's trigger finger itched as he held the gun to Cherion's head. The tacos were killed, and in front of him was their killer. Vengeance would be his … if it weren't for the six other people there as witnesses. "What are you waiting for? Kill her!" **"Now don't get me wrong when I say this, although she did commit a heinous crime against all that is delicious, you really shouldn't kill her … yet." **_"Ok, I've just finished the debate with myself, and__for the sake of moving on with the chapter, I'll let you decide. So, should I shoot you know or wait till you get home?"_ Deadpool said to Cherion, annoyed with the taco joke. "What are you doing?" Shinjiro yelled.

Deadpool looked up and saw everyone's reactions. The ginger was in shock, the blonde with glasses had nearly fainted, the little white girl with the Mexican accent was holding her guns up, the black girl put on s seriously serious face, the … uh … girl? … in purple was holding her fan over her mouth, the wuss who just yelled looked determined, and the man with a funny name was probably wondering why did this situation escalate this high."Cherion just said she was sorry, and you point a gun at her? What kind of person are you?" Shinjiro continued. _"Well … I'm a complete dick, but …"_ "Cherion is forgiven!" Rosita yelled. "Put the gun down or I will shoot you!" _"Hey relax kid, she …" _"There was no reason to put up your gun in the first place you fool, it was only food she crushed." Subaru stated._ "Only food? Now you listen …"_ "it shouldn't even matter if she did something worng. You should punish the offense, and pity the offender." Said Gemini. _"What the hell does that …"_ "This won't settle anything at all! So what if I crushed a few tacos, it's not like I hurt anyone. So if you're going to shoot me, make sure you have just cause." Yelled Cherion.

"_Ok, this is really getting annoying."_ Deadpool then pointed the gun'sbarrel to himself. Everyone once again went into shock at this man's act. "Please stop!" Yelled Diana, "There's no need to do something so rash!" _"Why not? I'm getting really irritated by this whole damn scenario! If I shoot myself, at least you all will shut up." _"Alright! That's quite enough." Sunnyside said firmly. "Let's all just agree that no one needs to get shot, and we can move on!" Deadpool looked around, everyone was tense at the situation of a suicide attempt, didn't they know about the healing factor? **"Apparently not."**"I guess we do need to move on, I mean, we've been on this for six paragraphs already."_ "Ok, you're right."_ Deadpool holstered his gun, and everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"Good," Sunnyside started, "now that that's settled, let's move on to introductions …" "Sunnyside, I believe that Shinjiro would like to talk to you and the rest of the team on a private matter." Subaru stated. "I do" asked Shinjiro. He was then received with cold stares from everyone in the room. "Alrighty then." Sunnyside said. "Sir, please wait outside my office while we talk." _"Alrighty then indeed Ace Ventura, alrighty then indeed."_ As Deadpool walked out the door, the Star Division glared at Sunnyside. "That was him Sunnyside? That psychopath was the new recruit you've been talking about?" Cherion yelled. "Subaru disapproves of this greatly, if he is put in a STAR, he will only cause unnecessary chaos and destruction on the battlefield." Subaru firmly stated. "They're right Sunnyside, if you let him help, he'll just make things worse for us!" Gemini exclaimed. "Ok, Ok! Everyone just calm down." Sunnyside said. "It seems that an explanation is in order. You see, this man is not going to pilot a STAR, especially after seeing his … personality." "Huh? But uncle, you told us …" responded. "I told you that so you that I could tell you the truth when it seemed appropriate, but seeing how he's insane, I believe now is the appropriate time. The man who sent him is named Nick Fury. He's the head of a secret military organization in an alternate Earth*.

Everyone went into a quick state of shock, except for Rosita who had absolutely no idea what that meant. "Uh …WHAT? Sunnyside that seems a little far-fetched to me …" replied Shinjiro. "Shinjiro, you lead a secret team that fights monsters using a spiritual substance that powers up steam powered robots. Are you telling me that a man from a parallel universe is unbelievable to you?" Sunnyside responded calmly. "Well …" Shinjiro tried to respond. "Ok, now as I was saying this man also comes from the same alternate Earth. Nick claimed that this man has Pneuma, but now it looks like he was just trying to get rid of him. However, this doesn't hinder my plans one bit." "I'm not following Sunnyside." stated Cherion. "If this guy isn't here to help us fight, why do we need him here?" "Because Cherion," Sunnyside continued, "His Earth is set in the future." Now everyone, except for Rosita, was beginning to understand.

"Although he can't tell us when monsters will attack, he can tell us about future conflicts and wars that we can avoid." Sunnyside concluded. "Ah, that makes perfect sense." Subaru stated. "Um … but aren't we … using him then?" Shinjiro questioned. "I wouldn't worry about it, looks like that guy can't see the forest for the trees." Answered Gemini. "What are you guys talking about?" asked Rosita "Is it about breakfast?" "Yes Rosita." Diana said sighing. "Would you like some pancakes?" "Yes pleeeeease."

**XXXXX**

"Soooooo … Should we go in and kill them with our shotgun, or should we wait until they figure out we bugged the room?" **"Let's just think about this, it could be a miss understanding." **"The 'possibly a girl' person thinks its ok to use us, and the ginger chick said something about trees. What's there to think about?" **"Ok, you're right, but at least wait until after the pancakes."** _"That's too bad, because we're not doing to shoot anyone!"_Deadpool exclaimed, putting away his loaded shotgun. **"WHAT? They just said that we're here to give them info on the future. We won't even fight with them!" **_"Well they haven't seen our moves yet."_"They don't need our moves! They have robots!" _"Yeah, and we get one to!" _**"DON'T YOU LISTEN? We can't pilot the robot! We don't have that … Pneuma … thing!"** _"Uh … what is Pneuma anyways?"_

"Penuma is a magical source of energy that fuels the STARs. It is found in all living things, but only exceptional people can channel it to such a degree." Said an old man who randomly popped out from the side **"Huh, that was convenient." **"Yeah, it's not every day that a random old man is nice to us, especially if he's wearing Chinese clothing and not in a Kung-Fu movie." _"Yeah, thanks for the explanation old man."_ Deadpool said calmly. The old man looked very surprised and said "You are the first one I've met who was not startled by sudden presence. I am very impressed." _"Don't be old man, I've had a bunch of people who could turn invisible sneak up on me, and let me tell you, they look good in pink polka dots."_ "I believe they would." Responded the old man. The old man then took a machine out of his robes and scanned Deadpool. "Hmmm. Interesting very interesting." _"I know I am, but what part exactly did you scan to prove it?" _"It was nice talking to you Mr. Wilson; it will be a pleasure to see you in action."

Shortly after, the old Chinese man left down the elevator, making notes on his notepad. **"Well, that wasn't creepy at all."** "Wait, how did that guy know our name?" "_Good question."_ Deadpool said out loud. "Ahem, sir you may come back in now." Deadpool turned around to see the chick with glasses call him in. _"Sweet, watching the paint dry fun for a bit, but it got boring after a while."_ Deadpool then walked in to see everyone in a semicircle position around him. "So if I'm not mistaken," Sunnyside started, "Nick already explained the 'New York Combat Revue' right?" Deadpool looked around him, no one's face was serious, in fact everyone was smiling, but it was a fake smile at best. _"Uh, yeah …He said you guys were heroes … or something like." _"That is correct." Sunnyside said smiling. **"'Sunnyside said smiling'. Try saying that three times fast." **"Shhh! Don't interrupt!" "If you are going to join team, then you must get to know your teammates, but before we do, you must understand that if you do decide to join, you will start from the bottom, and will have to work your way to the top. Even so, do you promise to work hard?" Sunnyside said sternly. _"Scout's honor."_ Deadpool said saluting while crossing his fingers behind him.

"Very good!" exclaimed Sunnyside. "Now without further adue, I formally introduce you to the New York Combat Revue: Star Division!" _"That's great Dr. Seuss! And I promise you I will lead this interracial team of 4 girls, 1 possible girl, and 1 guy to victory over our enemies as we crush them in a bloody orgy of carnage! The people shall cower in fear after hearing our names, and I, their ruler shall demand all of their corn dogs as tribute! Muahahahahahahaha!" _Everyone was speechless after hearing the madman's comment. **"Oh joys of joys, we're going to mess with them huh?" **"Oh, big time." "Uh … while that does sound like an interesting venture, that's not what we do, and you will not lead the team." Sunnyside responded. _"Oh … my bad … soooo who is?" _"Well, why don't we let the team introduce themselves?"_ "Ok! Who's first?" _The boy in the middle stepped forward and saluted. "My name is Shinjiro Taiga. I am the captain of the Star Division and a Lieutenant in the Japanese Imperial Navy. I hope we can rely on you to help us!" The team smiled, impressed with their captain.

"_Very pretty intro kid, but it's not gonna cut it in the corp. private!"_ Deadpool shouted. Everyone suddenly got confused, especially Shinjiro. "Uh … What?" asked Shinjiro. _"You heard me private, you won't last a second here!"_ "Bu-but I'm a Lieutenant in the …" _"Are you back talking to your commanding officer?"_ "But I'm your …" _"ARE YOU?" _Shinjiro instantly stood at attention. "Sir no sir!" _"Good to hear private! Now go behind that couch and give me 500 push-ups!"_ "Sir yes sir!" yelled Shinjiro. He then ran behind the couch and began his push-ups. "1,2,3,4,5 …" **"Well, that was easy."** "One down, five to go." _"Next."_ Deadpool said smirking.

Suddenly Deadpool found two guns in his face, held by the little white girl with the ferret. "Silver gun, or golden gun, which one do you want?" _"And who are you little girl?"_ "she smiled and announced "I am Rosarita Aries, Rosita for short! I am the best bounty hunter in all the world. So don't get me mad or …" _"Ok, that's enough! You should be ashamed of yourself little girl!" _"Eh?"Rosita asked, confused about the interruption. _"You say her name's Rosarita, but you're obviously white. That's really offensive to the real Latinos jumping the fence!" _(Just a quick note, I am Latino so don't be offended.) "Bu-but I am …" Rosita said, losing her happy-go-lucky attitude. _"Enough, give me your guns, and go sit in the corner for 10 minutes."_ "B-b-b-but," Rosita said beginning to cry. _"Hey, you cry and you get another 10 minutes. Understood?" _Rosita sniffled and said "Yes sir." She then gave her guns to Deadpool, and sat in the corner. **"That was pretty mean man."** "Hey, when a little girl cries, I believe my job is done." _"Come on, let's keep it going." _Deadpool said mockingly.

The next one to come up was the ginger cowgirl, who came up with a big fake smile. **"Well this ought to be good."** "High there partner." She said in her southern accent. "My name's Gemini Sunrise. Born and raised in Texas, the Lone Star State! I trained under …" _"Corner."_ Deadpool interrupted. "Huh?" Gemini responded "Waddya mean, I …?" _"Look girly, I've been to Texas multiple times, and I can tell you, not every girl there talks like a southern bell." _Deadpool then pointed to her and said, _"It is because of stereotypes like you that others believe that everyone has that accent, and get tied up to the roof and get beaten like a piñata for five hours. LIKE A PINATA!" _"B-but that doesn't mean that I …" _"Now go to the corner and think about all those poor people who got beaten for that!"_ "But …" _"GO!"_ With that, Gemini went to sit in the corner with Rosita, her spirit now broken. **"Ok, that us who got beaten like a piñata, and you know it. We deserved it after the ten tequila shots."** "However, there was some truth to what you were saying, it's because of her that people in Japan think Texans talk with an accent. Thanks a lot Sakura Wars." _"And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust!" _Deadpool then pointed to Diana and sang, "_Hey! Gonna get you too! Another one bites the dust!"_

The blonde girl with the glasses then stepped up. She had a gentle look on her face as she approached the mad man. "Hello, I am Diana Caprice. I am the medic of the Star division, and Sunnyside's niece." _"Great … now how should mess with your mind? Should I call you four eyes, or …" _Diana rushed up and grabbed Deadpool's hand in order to stop him. "Please sir, there is no need to hurt everyone this way." _"Duh … wha?"_ "We must show love and compassion to the people around us if we are to work together." She said tightening her grip a bit. **"My God, I'm in love!"** "It's as if the Virgin Mary is speaking to us …" _"P-Please go out with me …"_ Deadpool said in shock.Everyone let out a sigh of relief, Sunnyside smiled, and Shinjiro was on his 200th push-up. Diana blushed and compassionately said, "I'm sorry sir, but my heart belongs to someone else." _"Oh come on, it'll be fun! Besides, I know a great place that serves the best chicken."_ Deadpool announced as he turned his back on her in a wiz of excitement. "That sound lovely bu … chicken?" Everyone put their hands to their faces. _"It's one of the best places to eat. You see, they bring out the chicken alive and prepare to cook it right in front of you!" _"What?" Diana cried horror. _"Yeah! First they pluck the feathers, then they cut off the wings nice and slowly, and finally, as the chicken clocks in fear and pain, they slam a cleaver right on its …" _"Thud" was the sound that interrupted Deadpool. _"Thud?"_ Deadpool asked. He turned around to see Diana passed out on the floor. _"Oh crap! What happened?"_ Deadpool asked as he picked Diana off the floor. "Diana's a vegetarian you moron! You freaked her out when you were talking about that restaurant." _"Oh." _Deadpool then dropped Diana back on the floor. _"Sorry babe, it's not gonna work out."_

Everyone was getting increasingly annoyed with the masked man's antics. He had mentally defeated 4 members of the Star Division. "Alright, enough is enough!" Cherion yelled in her booming court voice. The masked man looked at the Harlem lawyer and he looked … well … she couldn't really tell behind the mask, but she didn't let her guard down. She pointed to him and announced "I am Cherion Archer! Attorney at law and leader of the Centaurs!" _"You guys have horse people here? I thought you only saw those in Azeroth, but I guess …" _"Objection!" Cherion interrupted. "The defendant in not allowed to give testimony during opening arguments." _"What? I'm in court again? Can't we just move …" _"Objection! Once again, you cannot interrupt during my argument! If you interrupt once more, you will be escorted out of the court room!" _"Alright that's it …"_ "Objection! …" Deadpool then slammed a gavel onto a nearby table. _"Overruled, you Phoenix Wright wannabe!"_ Cherion's eyes widened in annoyance, no way an idiot with a gavel was going to stop her. "O-ob-objection!" _"Overruled!" _"Objection!"_ "Overruled!"_ "Objection!"_ "Overruled!"_ "Objection!"_ "Overruled!"_ "Objection!"_ "Overruled! One more outburst and you will be escorted from the court room Ms. Archer!" _"Wh-what gives you the authority to do that you psychopath?" _"I have the gavel. Not you, me!"_ "Having a gavel doesn't make you a judge!" _"Of course it … really?"_ "Yes really!" _"Oh … well … How about the impossible amount of guns I have in my duffle bag?"_ "Tch like you would actually shoot …" Cherion stopped talking right then, remembering a few minutes earlier that she had a gun to her head. "Th-the… The prosecution rests your honor." Cherion said defeated. _"Court dismissed, bring out the dancing lobsters!" _Deadpool said slamming the gavel into the coffee table. **"Really? Did you honestly take a page from f'king Amanda Bynes? How long has it been since we saw the 'Amanda Show' anyways?"** "I felt that we needed to bring back some classic comedy." **"Then why didn't you use an 'All That' reference then?"** "Huh … didn't think about that." _ "And then there was one."_ Deadpool said looking at the final … uh … person.

Subaru glared at the mercenary with distrust and disrespect. Even out of the battlefield this madman was able to through the Star Division into complete disarray. Behind her fan, Subaru planned this man's downfall, and Subaru new just what to do. _"Soooooo, what is the name of my next victim … I mean teammate?" _Deadpool asked Subaru. Subaru simply held the fan in the normal position and looked away. _"Uh… hello? Are you there?"_ Deadpool asked. Once again, the person whose gender is impossible to determine on one's own did not respond to the Merc with the Mouth's question. **"Gasp! He … She … Its ignoring us!" **"The force is strong in this one." 

"_Ok, so your probably the only one smart enough to figure out that I LOVE to hear the sound of my own voice. Your also the only one to figure out that I can't stand it when I am ignored, well guess what? … Uh … Ok, I don't know what either but this doesn't mean that I can't annoy you beyond reason. I always do. Just like that one time in Japan at an Anna Miller's restaurant where I hit on that on really really really HOT … _

_blonde waitress until she called the police. Then, for some apparent reason, f*king Tiger Shark came out of nowhere with a hit contract for, get this, Rob Van Dam, you know, the wrestler? So after I saved his life and kicked Tiger Shark's ASS, we played Marvel vs. Capcom 3, which I won … ok he won, but it was an awesome day, let me tell you. What was I trying to do again?"_** "You were trying to annoy this person."** _"Oh … right … did it work?" _Deadpool saw that the person with no gender had not moved their face since he began his rant. "Apparently not." **"Oh, you know what that means …"** "Plan B! Bring out the guns!" Deadpool then pulled out twin revolvers and pointed them at the unidentifiable person._ "Alright listen …"_

Subaru then pulled out the other fan and cut the barrels off of the twin revolvers. _" … up?"_ "Tch, your dependency on your weapons to resolve disputes only further reveals your insecurities and stupidity." Subaru started. Everyone looked on in amazement to see their hero defeat the mad man. "You have been here for no less than half an hour and already you have caused more chaos than any sane man could possibly comprehend. My name is Subaru Kujo of the New York Combat Revue and I will never let a mindless fool like you be …" _"Ahem!"_ Interrupted Deadpool, _"Before you continue, I suggest you look at the guns which, for the record, YOU sliced in half!" _Deadpool said pointing at Subaru.

Subaru decided to humor the mercenary, but as Subaru looked down her(?) eyes started to widen. She(?) saw, in disbelief … _Hold it, hold it! What's with the question marks after the 'she' and 'her'?_ It's a lot easier for me, plus it shows that we don't know her(?) identity._ Oh … continue._ Ok ... She(?) saw in disbelief that she(?) made a mistake in believing that the insane man was nothing but a fool and thus underestimating him. With this underestimation she(?) saw how truly dangerous this man could be, but most importantly she would also have to find a way to explain to Rosita why she (?) destroyed her guns. "Hmm, I shall concede for the time being, but do not expect victory next time." Subaru stated impressed. With that, Subaru took a seat next to Cherion, with everyone's mouth hanging wide open.

Sunnyside then felt a migraine begin in his head. This one man had made the entire Star Division, especially Shinjiro, look completely and utterly stupid. "Alright everyone!" Sunnyside began to announce frustrated, "I believe we should all gets some rest to …"_ "HEY!"_ Deadpool yelled in order to interrupt Sunnyside. _"What about me? I have yet to introduce myself, to all my minons … and by that, I mean co-workers."_ Sunneyside took a deep breath, knowing that he was going to regret his next answer. "Why of course, go ahead sir." "Alright, we're next, we've gotta make this good!"** "Ok, I got just the thing! We shall use the best character intro in movie history!" **_"Ahem …____Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me Wade Wilson."_ Everyone just stared at him, deeply confused. "Well … it's nice to meet you Mr. Wilson" Sunneyside stated. _"Please Mr. Sunneyside, call me Deadpool."_ With that, the Star Division was even more confused than before.

By this time, Shinjiro had finished his push-ups, Diana had recovered from fainting, and everyone else was annoyed by the Crimson Comedian. "As I was saying before I believe we all need some rest after this long night, so everyone can co on home." Everyone was relieved to hear those words, they needed the sleep after this _"Wait a second dude!" _Interrupted Deadpool, _"I just got here and I ain't got no bed."_ Sunnyside thought for a second "Hmm … that's right, the decision of your coming here was abrupt to say the least. Captain Taiga!" Shinjiro stood a t attention and weakly put up his tired arms "Yes sir?" "Due to the lack of preparation for Mr. Wilson's …" _"Ahem!" _"… I mean Deadpool's arrival; I have decided that he will be your roommate for the time being." "Yes si … wait … huh?" Shinjiro asked in confusion. "HUH? He's gonna live with Shiny?" questioned Gemini. "I object to this Sunneyside!" yelled Cherion. "This man could hurt Shin uncle, please reconsider!" begged Diana "Indeed, Subaru disagrees with this decision." Answered Subaru. "Huh? Is there going to be a sleepover at Shin's house?" questioned Rosita. Deadpool then looked over to them and smiled. _"Well if that's true, I could stay at one of your houses."_

A chill ran down their spines as Deadpool said those poisonous words. "Oh … uh … look at that, I have to hit that dusty trail and … feed Larry! Yeah, that's right." Said Gemini as she ran out the door. "Err … I have clients tomorrow, so I have to get some sleep." Said Cherion as she ran out the door. "I have … uh … my … guest room is a mess, I could not possibly let you sleep in a dirty room." Said Diana as she excused herself from the room. " … Subaru does not want him in my apartment under any circumstance." Answered Subaru as she(?) walked out of the room. "Sooooooooo, there is no sleep over?" Rosita said beginning to cry. Deadpool then walked over to Rosita and patted her on the head. _"Don't worry about little girl, now go to the person in purple, she has your guns waiting for you."_ Rosita instantly perked up. "Really? OK! I'm going now, bye-bye Shins!"

Shinjiro felt abandoned by his team as they left. Then he saw Deadpool ominously smile, under his mask, and he felt all hope vanish. _"Well, I think its time to hit the hay, see ya later !"_ Deadpool said as he pushed Shinjiro's near lifeless corpse out the door. Sunnyside waved as they left, but once Deadpool was out the door he dropped on his chair like a rock. "Cherry," Sunnyside said over the intercom bring me an asprin. Cherry came up with the asprin and a glass of water. "Is that all Mr. Sunnyside?" Cherry asked. "Actually no. I was wondering what took you and Anri so long to pick up Deadpool." Cherry let out a huge sigh. "Well, after we picked him up, he demanded we go for tacos. We drove all around town to find one, but Anri and I didn't have any money. He then decided to steal the tacos. To cut to the chase, he destroyed six police cars and wounded 7 officers over a matter of twelve tacos." After Sunnyside herd that, his migraine began to grow. "Cherry, I'm going to need another asprin."

Welp, that's it for this chapter. Once again sorry for taking so long. Please review, everyone.

"In a world of fiction, who needs reality."


	3. update

Update

Ok, im about to piss a lot of people off …. This is not a new chapter, this is an update. First off Im still working on this story so don't worry about that. But im also working on another story called Sakura Wars 2038. Its rated M and is currently posted up. Hope you guys like it!

"In a world of Fiction, who needs Reality?"


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